1 00:00:24,990 --> 00:00:26,025 Hey, guys. 2 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:28,061 Hey. 3 00:00:28,062 --> 00:00:30,270 The guys are a bit cranky these days, 4 00:00:30,271 --> 00:00:34,723 and the reason for it is so elemental, it's so primal. 5 00:00:34,724 --> 00:00:36,311 It's almost animalistic. 6 00:00:36,312 --> 00:00:37,484 New shirt? 7 00:00:37,485 --> 00:00:38,899 Yeah. Yeah. 8 00:00:38,900 --> 00:00:41,350 Teams of all sorts go through slumps, 9 00:00:41,351 --> 00:00:44,112 periods when things just aren't, you know, coming together, 10 00:00:44,113 --> 00:00:46,907 and this team is in a huge slump 11 00:00:46,908 --> 00:00:49,324 in that for the first time since I can remember 12 00:00:49,325 --> 00:00:52,327 not a one of them is going out with anyone, 13 00:00:52,328 --> 00:00:54,605 and I mean, no one is getting anything. 14 00:00:54,606 --> 00:00:56,503 So, what do you think? About what? 15 00:00:56,504 --> 00:00:58,333 About the shirt. I think it's stupid. 16 00:00:58,334 --> 00:01:02,509 No dates, no one-night stands, nothing! 17 00:01:02,510 --> 00:01:05,995 And wow, they're cranky. 18 00:01:05,996 --> 00:01:07,307 What do you mean, "stupid"? 19 00:01:07,308 --> 00:01:08,550 How can a shirt be stupid? 20 00:01:08,551 --> 00:01:10,103 You asked me what I thought about your shirt, 21 00:01:10,104 --> 00:01:11,587 and I told you, it's stupid. 22 00:01:11,588 --> 00:01:13,279 You know what, you're stupid. I think you're stupid. 23 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:15,143 I think you're stupid. I think your pants are really stupid. 24 00:01:15,144 --> 00:01:16,558 My pants are smarter than you. 25 00:01:16,559 --> 00:01:20,079 Wow. God, it's like being at the Algonquin Round Table. 26 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,425 Whose bet? 27 00:01:21,426 --> 00:01:22,736 Oh, my God. 28 00:01:22,737 --> 00:01:25,187 And Andy, well, he's married, 29 00:01:25,188 --> 00:01:27,776 and that brings a whole different set of reasons to be cranky. 30 00:01:27,777 --> 00:01:28,880 Andy, are you gonna play or what? 31 00:01:28,881 --> 00:01:30,261 We need you. 32 00:01:30,262 --> 00:01:33,230 I don't think I can. This is insane. 33 00:01:33,231 --> 00:01:34,438 Yeah, but do you have to do that now? 34 00:01:34,439 --> 00:01:36,716 It's Savannah's fifth birthday this weekend. 35 00:01:36,717 --> 00:01:39,339 Meredith wants this assembled for when she wakes up. 36 00:01:39,340 --> 00:01:42,342 But there's, like, 800 pieces to this thing. 37 00:01:42,343 --> 00:01:45,656 I thought the farm would be easier than the Hundred Acre Wood, 38 00:01:45,657 --> 00:01:47,796 but apparently I was wrong. 39 00:01:49,247 --> 00:01:51,110 Look at this. 40 00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:52,940 It's the tiniest jelly jar I've ever seen. 41 00:01:55,218 --> 00:01:56,529 Why is there a jelly jar? 42 00:01:56,530 --> 00:02:00,049 Evidently, Mom makes her own preserves. 43 00:02:00,050 --> 00:02:02,051 I can't wait to have kids. 44 00:02:02,052 --> 00:02:06,055 Yeah, you see, now, that would require you having sex. 45 00:02:06,056 --> 00:02:07,816 Shut up, now. Just shut up. 46 00:02:07,817 --> 00:02:08,886 You shut up. Be quiet. 47 00:02:08,887 --> 00:02:10,301 Just shut up. 48 00:02:10,302 --> 00:02:11,578 The hole under your nose is apparently... 49 00:02:11,579 --> 00:02:13,615 We really need to be writing this stuff down. 50 00:02:13,616 --> 00:02:14,995 Hey, what are you guys doing tomorrow night? 51 00:02:14,996 --> 00:02:16,859 Sam Wench's band is playing at the Hideout. 52 00:02:16,860 --> 00:02:18,482 Oh, he's good, he's really good. 53 00:02:18,483 --> 00:02:20,311 We started playing him at the station, actually, 54 00:02:20,312 --> 00:02:23,556 which is what I will be doing tomorrow night, taking Shane's shift. 55 00:02:23,557 --> 00:02:26,800 Shane's shift, Shane's shift, Shane's shift, Shane's shift. That's fun. 56 00:02:26,801 --> 00:02:28,802 I have dinner with my cousin from Indiana. 57 00:02:28,803 --> 00:02:30,079 Sorry, I'm out. 58 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:32,530 I'm going to a Peter, Paul, and Mommy concert 59 00:02:32,531 --> 00:02:33,774 tomorrow night in Elgin. 60 00:02:36,397 --> 00:02:37,433 I don't wanna talk about it. 61 00:02:39,814 --> 00:02:41,470 All right, Kenny, you and me. 62 00:02:41,471 --> 00:02:44,680 Um, uh, I don't know. I don't think... No, 63 00:02:44,681 --> 00:02:48,409 I'm volunteering at a dog rescue place tomorrow. 64 00:02:49,790 --> 00:02:50,824 Really? 65 00:02:50,825 --> 00:02:51,894 Yep, whose deal? 66 00:02:51,895 --> 00:02:53,413 Me. Okay. 67 00:02:53,414 --> 00:02:54,863 Oh, I love dogs, I might want to go with you. 68 00:02:54,864 --> 00:02:56,451 What's it called? 69 00:02:56,452 --> 00:02:58,487 What? The dog shelter, what's it called? 70 00:02:58,488 --> 00:03:00,006 Lassie Come Home, like the movie. 71 00:03:00,007 --> 00:03:01,214 It's called Lassie Come Home. 72 00:03:01,215 --> 00:03:04,286 It's a collie shelter, 'cause Lassie was a collie. 73 00:03:04,287 --> 00:03:06,150 Lassie was a golden retriever. 74 00:03:06,151 --> 00:03:07,634 Golden retriever shelter, because Lassie was a golden retriever. 75 00:03:07,635 --> 00:03:09,705 Face! Lassie was a collie. 76 00:03:09,706 --> 00:03:12,018 Uh... "Shane's shift." Say it with me, it's fun. 77 00:03:12,019 --> 00:03:13,330 Shane's shift. Shane's shift. 78 00:03:13,331 --> 00:03:14,710 Shane's shift. 79 00:03:14,711 --> 00:03:16,195 Oh, my God, you guys are full of crap. 80 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:17,334 Shane's shift. I'm calling bullshit. 81 00:03:17,335 --> 00:03:18,783 What, why? 82 00:03:18,784 --> 00:03:21,027 What are you guys doing tomorrow night that I'm not invited to? 83 00:03:21,028 --> 00:03:23,272 Nothing, God. 84 00:03:24,721 --> 00:03:27,240 Nice work, Kenny. 85 00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:29,587 Look, Peej, we're all going out tomorrow night, 86 00:03:29,588 --> 00:03:31,589 and the whole idea was that it was just 87 00:03:31,590 --> 00:03:34,627 supposed to be, you know, guy's night. 88 00:03:34,628 --> 00:03:36,732 What? Why? 89 00:03:36,733 --> 00:03:38,251 We're going out to pick up girls. 90 00:03:38,252 --> 00:03:39,977 Boom, I said it. 91 00:03:39,978 --> 00:03:41,841 Look, we're all in horrific slumps right now. 92 00:03:41,842 --> 00:03:44,810 So? So, we're going out. Hunting. 93 00:03:45,811 --> 00:03:47,433 Hunting? Hunting, okay? 94 00:03:47,434 --> 00:03:49,745 We've decided to adapt a pack mentality, 95 00:03:49,746 --> 00:03:52,023 like wolves or Velociraptors... 96 00:03:52,024 --> 00:03:54,681 Look, it's just guys being guys, all right? 97 00:03:54,682 --> 00:03:56,856 The bottom line is that we need to go out and be piggish 98 00:03:56,857 --> 00:03:58,547 without you looking over our shoulders and... 99 00:03:58,548 --> 00:04:03,345 And let's be honest, judging the prey that we then snare. 100 00:04:03,346 --> 00:04:07,315 Oh, my God, that's disgusting, and shut up. 101 00:04:07,316 --> 00:04:09,800 I would not be judgmental of your women, okay? 102 00:04:09,801 --> 00:04:13,044 I never said anything about that total North Suburban whore 103 00:04:13,045 --> 00:04:14,632 that you went up to Wisconsin with, 104 00:04:14,633 --> 00:04:16,117 and shut up again, I know what I just did. 105 00:04:16,704 --> 00:04:18,015 P.J., seriously. 106 00:04:18,016 --> 00:04:19,361 You're not missing out on anything, all right? 107 00:04:19,362 --> 00:04:21,708 We're going up to the Slug House. 108 00:04:21,709 --> 00:04:25,954 Ugh! The Slug House, that is just disgusting. 109 00:04:25,955 --> 00:04:27,576 Well, that's where the prey is, okay? 110 00:04:27,577 --> 00:04:29,820 So, let's just play cards. Brendan, your deal. 111 00:04:29,821 --> 00:04:32,236 My God, you guys are pathetic. 112 00:04:32,237 --> 00:04:33,686 "Dinner with my cousin," 113 00:04:33,687 --> 00:04:36,999 "I'm working a double shift," come on, "A collie shelter." 114 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,139 Peter, Paul, and Mommy thing was true. 115 00:04:39,140 --> 00:04:40,244 Yeah, we figured that out. 116 00:04:40,245 --> 00:04:41,315 Yeah... 117 00:04:44,939 --> 00:04:46,388 Even though he's dating Claire, 118 00:04:46,389 --> 00:04:48,632 Bobby and I are in a good place these days. 119 00:04:48,633 --> 00:04:50,668 We're just friends, and that's okay. 120 00:04:50,669 --> 00:04:52,636 No, really. 121 00:04:52,637 --> 00:04:54,534 I love Sam Wench, I do. 122 00:04:54,535 --> 00:04:56,122 Okay. But I can't do it. 123 00:04:56,123 --> 00:04:57,537 I have dinner with Claire. 124 00:04:57,538 --> 00:05:01,023 It's like our two-week anniversary or some crap like that. 125 00:05:01,024 --> 00:05:02,370 She's one of those. 126 00:05:02,371 --> 00:05:05,994 Well, if she brings you a teddy bear and names it, 127 00:05:05,995 --> 00:05:09,169 then you break up with her. Okay? 128 00:05:09,170 --> 00:05:10,964 You know, I did get her a corsage. 129 00:05:10,965 --> 00:05:12,069 Is that weird? 130 00:05:12,070 --> 00:05:13,139 Did she name it? 131 00:05:14,417 --> 00:05:16,660 Thank you. 132 00:05:16,661 --> 00:05:18,455 This is a bar, right? 133 00:05:18,456 --> 00:05:21,009 Because I just ordered a martini, and Crowley glared at me. 134 00:05:21,010 --> 00:05:24,046 Did you ask for bleu cheese stuffed olives again? 135 00:05:24,047 --> 00:05:26,980 What? It's a simple question. Come on. 136 00:05:26,981 --> 00:05:28,499 You know what, you have good timing 137 00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:31,399 because I gotta get going, so I will see you at poker. 138 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:32,538 Totally. 139 00:05:32,539 --> 00:05:33,608 Cool. See you, guys. 140 00:05:33,609 --> 00:05:34,748 Bye. 141 00:05:35,507 --> 00:05:37,059 Wait a minute. 142 00:05:37,060 --> 00:05:38,682 Is crush boy back in the picture? 143 00:05:38,683 --> 00:05:40,269 No. Nope... No. 144 00:05:40,270 --> 00:05:41,547 That's... That's done, we're fine. 145 00:05:41,548 --> 00:05:42,755 We're just friends. 146 00:05:42,756 --> 00:05:44,550 Really? Yeah. 147 00:05:44,551 --> 00:05:47,000 I mean, yeah, okay, it was exciting, 148 00:05:47,001 --> 00:05:49,417 like that, you know, initial crush thing. 149 00:05:49,418 --> 00:05:52,627 You know, "Will it go this way or that way?" 150 00:05:52,628 --> 00:05:55,492 I mean... Now that the unknown is known. 151 00:05:55,493 --> 00:05:57,321 Wow, that's a little sad. 152 00:05:57,322 --> 00:05:59,772 Oh, so what. Who else you got lined up? 153 00:05:59,773 --> 00:06:01,739 What are you talking about? Who are you working on? 154 00:06:01,740 --> 00:06:03,708 Who's your next crush? 155 00:06:06,158 --> 00:06:07,814 I'm not working on anybody. 156 00:06:07,815 --> 00:06:09,851 Everyone is working on someone. 157 00:06:09,852 --> 00:06:13,337 Okay, because I am working on seven crushes as we speak. 158 00:06:13,338 --> 00:06:15,512 It keeps me on my game between, 159 00:06:15,513 --> 00:06:17,652 you know, actual human dating. 160 00:06:17,653 --> 00:06:19,723 Dude, I don't have a crush. 161 00:06:19,724 --> 00:06:22,415 I mean, I've always at least had a crush. 162 00:06:22,416 --> 00:06:24,624 All right, well, just pick someone famous. 163 00:06:24,625 --> 00:06:28,663 You know, like George Clooney or Matt Damon. 164 00:06:28,664 --> 00:06:30,319 Oh, my God, freshman year. 165 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:31,942 Didn't you have a crush on Matlock? 166 00:06:31,943 --> 00:06:34,013 Oh, for like a minute, okay? 167 00:06:34,014 --> 00:06:35,774 And he was really smart. 168 00:06:40,020 --> 00:06:42,435 Okay, you guys, look, I'm in a slump, too. 169 00:06:42,436 --> 00:06:43,540 Let me come to the Slug House with you. 170 00:06:43,541 --> 00:06:44,679 No. 171 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:46,508 Why not? I can help hunt. 172 00:06:46,509 --> 00:06:49,477 I wanna hunt. I wanna be hunted. 173 00:06:49,478 --> 00:06:50,719 No. 174 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:52,652 I say we let her come. 175 00:06:52,653 --> 00:06:54,999 What the hell, you know, let her be our wing man. 176 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:56,898 If we're all in slumps, let's help each other out. 177 00:06:56,899 --> 00:06:58,313 Who the hell are you all of a sudden? 178 00:06:58,314 --> 00:07:00,798 Come on, Mike, she's gonna be fine, helpful, even. 179 00:07:00,799 --> 00:07:02,628 Yes, thank you. 180 00:07:02,629 --> 00:07:04,492 We'll all be each other's wing persons. 181 00:07:04,493 --> 00:07:05,631 Do you see? 182 00:07:05,632 --> 00:07:07,702 Why? Come on, why can't I come? 183 00:07:07,703 --> 00:07:10,739 Because to be a good wing person, you, P.J., 184 00:07:10,740 --> 00:07:12,396 are not going to be comfortable doing what you have to do. 185 00:07:12,397 --> 00:07:13,880 What's that? Making me look good. 186 00:07:13,881 --> 00:07:15,054 That is hard. Okay, you guys, look, 187 00:07:15,055 --> 00:07:16,642 I'm not gonna judge, and secondly, 188 00:07:16,643 --> 00:07:19,128 I understand you guys and I understand women. 189 00:07:20,267 --> 00:07:21,370 Kind of, dude. 190 00:07:21,371 --> 00:07:22,475 No. 191 00:07:22,476 --> 00:07:23,545 I buy all drinks all night? 192 00:07:23,546 --> 00:07:25,582 All right, you're in. 193 00:07:25,583 --> 00:07:27,653 All right, before we go, one more round of confidence shots. 194 00:07:27,654 --> 00:07:29,172 Here we go. 195 00:07:32,244 --> 00:07:33,313 Dude, what was that? 196 00:07:33,314 --> 00:07:34,902 I don't know, that was his. 197 00:07:36,041 --> 00:07:37,248 Did he see? Mmm-mmm. 198 00:07:37,249 --> 00:07:38,388 You're cool. 199 00:07:45,948 --> 00:07:49,157 Okay. I want the Phoenix... 200 00:07:49,158 --> 00:07:52,125 All right. So when a team is in a slump, they'll do almost anything 201 00:07:52,126 --> 00:07:53,713 to find their way out of it. 202 00:07:53,714 --> 00:07:55,715 You know, they'll wear the same underwear for a week 203 00:07:55,716 --> 00:07:57,268 or turn their socks inside out, 204 00:07:57,269 --> 00:08:02,102 whatever it takes to get out of the slump, even this. 205 00:08:06,555 --> 00:08:08,521 Oh, my God. Are you kidding? Don't. 206 00:08:08,522 --> 00:08:10,143 What? I'm just saying. Seriously. 207 00:08:10,144 --> 00:08:11,697 All right. Okay. Are we good? 208 00:08:11,698 --> 00:08:13,388 I'm in. Let's do this. 209 00:08:13,389 --> 00:08:16,149 I think I just caught Chlamydia. 210 00:08:16,150 --> 00:08:18,082 What? It's a joke, dude, seriously. 211 00:08:18,083 --> 00:08:19,636 Jeez. Old Styles. 212 00:08:19,637 --> 00:08:21,603 Yo, a round of Jagers, and just keep them coming. 213 00:08:21,604 --> 00:08:23,743 If we're gonna do this, we're gonna do this 214 00:08:23,744 --> 00:08:25,574 disgustingly. All right, who's stepping up? 215 00:08:27,576 --> 00:08:32,718 So, anyway. I'm at Yosemite for like a week camping, and it was amazing. 216 00:08:32,719 --> 00:08:34,685 I'm sorry. I was gonna go get some drinks, 217 00:08:34,686 --> 00:08:36,653 but did I hear you talk Yosemite? 218 00:08:36,654 --> 00:08:38,517 Didn't you go fly fishing there 219 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,519 and catch, like, eight or nine in a day? 220 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,832 Actually, it was ten, and I totally forgot about that, yeah. 221 00:08:43,833 --> 00:08:45,109 Wow, that's awesome. 222 00:08:45,110 --> 00:08:46,421 Yeah. It was great. 223 00:08:46,422 --> 00:08:48,078 Did you grill them up over the camp fire? 224 00:08:48,079 --> 00:08:50,011 Oh, no, no, no, Mike hates fish. 225 00:08:50,012 --> 00:08:53,255 Oh, I love fish. I'd starve without sushi. 226 00:08:53,256 --> 00:08:55,326 Oh, my God, me, too. Where do you go? 227 00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:56,983 This great place up on Clark. 228 00:08:56,984 --> 00:08:58,778 - I love that place! - I know. 229 00:08:58,779 --> 00:08:59,952 Oh, my God. 230 00:08:59,953 --> 00:09:01,091 It's kind of hard to get into, though. 231 00:09:01,092 --> 00:09:02,402 Oh, you know where the best is? 232 00:09:02,403 --> 00:09:03,611 You're not going to believe this. 233 00:09:03,612 --> 00:09:04,991 Skokie. 234 00:09:04,992 --> 00:09:07,925 Oh, when I think sushi, I don't think Skokie. 235 00:09:07,926 --> 00:09:10,583 I like chicken teriyaki. 236 00:09:10,584 --> 00:09:13,552 Anyways, it's actually up on Dempster near Old Orchard. 237 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,312 In a mini mall. Well, of course. 238 00:09:15,313 --> 00:09:17,176 Skokie, you got to give me the address, 239 00:09:17,177 --> 00:09:18,660 like, immediately. Okay. 240 00:09:18,661 --> 00:09:20,179 Oh, wait there's a napkin over there. 241 00:09:20,180 --> 00:09:22,699 Okay, it's actually not on Dempster, 242 00:09:22,700 --> 00:09:25,287 but if you go towards Waukegan up to the right... 243 00:09:25,288 --> 00:09:26,703 You know that cemetery? 244 00:09:26,704 --> 00:09:27,669 Oh, yeah, of course. I'm gonna hit the john. 245 00:09:27,670 --> 00:09:29,153 Totally. There's that... 246 00:09:29,154 --> 00:09:31,052 They play movies over there. I heard. 247 00:09:31,053 --> 00:09:34,227 You gotta go, it's so nice, really. 248 00:09:34,228 --> 00:09:36,229 Can I get another beer for... What is it, it's Kathleen, right? 249 00:09:36,230 --> 00:09:37,679 Dude, did you see that play? 250 00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:38,818 No, I'm talking to Kathleen. 251 00:09:38,819 --> 00:09:40,820 Oh, my God, it was awesome. 252 00:09:40,821 --> 00:09:42,304 The ball shot back to Maddox who bobbled it, but he got it straight... 253 00:09:42,305 --> 00:09:44,272 That's great news. I'm gonna watch that on Sports Center later. 254 00:09:44,273 --> 00:09:45,963 So, Kathleen... 255 00:09:45,964 --> 00:09:47,275 Oh, dude, watch the replay, seriously. 256 00:09:47,276 --> 00:09:48,345 - It's unbelievable. - Okay. 257 00:09:48,346 --> 00:09:49,484 Would you excuse me? 258 00:09:49,485 --> 00:09:51,244 Sure. 259 00:09:51,245 --> 00:09:53,074 She's cute, dude. 260 00:09:53,075 --> 00:09:54,662 Don't. You know what, just don't. 261 00:09:54,663 --> 00:09:55,835 Oh, I'm... 262 00:09:55,836 --> 00:09:58,598 Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 263 00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:01,496 So we're driving back from the St. Louis game, 264 00:10:01,497 --> 00:10:03,532 and the cop pulls us over, and then... 265 00:10:03,533 --> 00:10:05,534 P.J., tell Nancy what I said. 266 00:10:05,535 --> 00:10:08,365 What? You know, to the cop. 267 00:10:08,366 --> 00:10:09,918 What, I don't, I don't know what you said. 268 00:10:09,919 --> 00:10:11,679 What I said when the cop pulled us over. 269 00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:13,646 I said... You know... 270 00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:14,889 That was you? I thought that was Bobby. 271 00:10:14,890 --> 00:10:16,166 No, no, that was me. 272 00:10:16,167 --> 00:10:17,650 You didn't even go to that game with us. 273 00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:19,584 Why don't you go talk to Brendan? 274 00:10:21,034 --> 00:10:22,621 Dude, I don't want to bug him, 275 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,208 he seems to be doing really well. 276 00:10:24,209 --> 00:10:25,348 Huh? 277 00:10:26,177 --> 00:10:27,903 You're killing me. 278 00:10:30,940 --> 00:10:32,561 Hey, P.J. Yeah. 279 00:10:32,562 --> 00:10:35,047 This is Ed. You went to the King Tut exhibit, right? 280 00:10:35,048 --> 00:10:37,290 Yeah. You did? I did, too. 281 00:10:37,291 --> 00:10:38,706 Kismet. 282 00:10:38,707 --> 00:10:40,466 This is actually the second time that I saw it, 283 00:10:40,467 --> 00:10:42,606 and it was as, I don't know, 284 00:10:42,607 --> 00:10:45,057 as magical as it was when I saw it as a kid. 285 00:10:45,058 --> 00:10:47,266 Remember, it came by back in the '70s. 286 00:10:47,267 --> 00:10:49,026 We were studying ancient Egypt in school. 287 00:10:49,027 --> 00:10:50,752 I grew up in Glenview. 288 00:10:50,753 --> 00:10:53,341 Yawn, right? I still live there. 289 00:10:54,930 --> 00:10:58,311 Anyway, then Steve Martin did that song. 290 00:10:58,312 --> 00:11:01,107 If this were an actual hunt with actual guns, 291 00:11:01,108 --> 00:11:04,732 I would be able to kill Ed and turn the gun on myself. 292 00:11:04,733 --> 00:11:06,457 Chicken? And Kenny and Mike. 293 00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:08,460 Oh, I don't eat food. 294 00:11:11,015 --> 00:11:13,188 You are the best cow. 295 00:11:13,189 --> 00:11:17,504 That's why you're going to be the king of all the cows. 296 00:11:18,954 --> 00:11:21,058 Moo. I don't want to be king. 297 00:11:21,059 --> 00:11:23,026 Hey. Hey, how'd it go? 298 00:11:23,027 --> 00:11:27,686 Well, we left with four and we came back with four, 299 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:28,859 which would be great if we were 300 00:11:28,860 --> 00:11:30,792 an Outward Bound group. However... 301 00:11:30,793 --> 00:11:33,277 I'm sorry, okay? I don't know how else to say I'm sorry. 302 00:11:33,278 --> 00:11:35,935 It was a complete waste of time. 303 00:11:35,936 --> 00:11:37,765 I'm sorry. 304 00:11:37,766 --> 00:11:40,353 What are you talking about? You were batting them away. 305 00:11:40,354 --> 00:11:41,527 None of them were really my type. 306 00:11:41,528 --> 00:11:42,908 So, now you're above slutty and young. 307 00:11:42,909 --> 00:11:45,427 Hey, you guys, look, next time I promise... 308 00:11:45,428 --> 00:11:47,671 Next time? No, no, next time. 309 00:11:47,672 --> 00:11:50,191 No, there's no next time for you, missy, because we, the council, 310 00:11:50,192 --> 00:11:53,194 have voted you off the island. 311 00:11:53,195 --> 00:11:56,473 You guys, when a team slumps, they go through that slump together, 312 00:11:56,474 --> 00:11:57,681 okay, they tough it out. 313 00:11:57,682 --> 00:11:59,027 She's right. 314 00:11:59,028 --> 00:12:01,167 Sometimes they make a trade or even release a player 315 00:12:01,168 --> 00:12:03,135 because they are a complete albatross. 316 00:12:03,136 --> 00:12:04,826 They do that. 317 00:12:04,827 --> 00:12:06,207 I'm not an albatross. 318 00:12:06,208 --> 00:12:08,071 Oh, you are an albatross. No, I'm not. 319 00:12:08,072 --> 00:12:09,555 You're an albatross. Really an albatross. 320 00:12:09,556 --> 00:12:12,075 You know what, you guys, you guys are dicks. 321 00:12:12,076 --> 00:12:14,042 Well, you're an albatross. 322 00:12:14,043 --> 00:12:16,458 Hey. Hey, that is not a toy! 323 00:12:16,459 --> 00:12:18,633 She threw a sheep in my shirt. 324 00:12:18,634 --> 00:12:20,739 Sheep shirt, sheep shirt. Try it, it's fun. 325 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,569 Sheep shirt. Sheep shirt. Sheep shirt. 326 00:12:23,570 --> 00:12:27,193 It was just all JELL-O shots and idiots from the outer suburbs. 327 00:12:27,194 --> 00:12:31,197 I'm talking like outer suburbs, like, you know, Canada, 328 00:12:31,198 --> 00:12:33,648 and the guys, they were just all different. 329 00:12:33,649 --> 00:12:36,858 They were all like... Oh, they were all guy-ey. 330 00:12:36,859 --> 00:12:41,483 Plain and simple and you are not guy-ey, you are girly. 331 00:12:41,484 --> 00:12:42,968 Hey. Hey, Paolo. 332 00:12:42,969 --> 00:12:44,417 P.J. How's it hanging? 333 00:12:44,418 --> 00:12:46,006 Low and easy. 334 00:12:47,111 --> 00:12:49,250 Okay, you're girlish. 335 00:12:49,251 --> 00:12:53,426 Now look, I know that you love those guys, and I do, too, except Kenny, 336 00:12:53,427 --> 00:12:55,635 but you can't be one of the guys all the time. 337 00:12:55,636 --> 00:12:57,154 I mean, did it ever occur to you 338 00:12:57,155 --> 00:12:59,087 that they might actually be dragging you down? 339 00:12:59,088 --> 00:13:01,781 Have they ever set you up with anyone? 340 00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:04,092 No. 341 00:13:04,093 --> 00:13:06,060 All right, here's the solution. 342 00:13:06,061 --> 00:13:10,133 We're gonna go out for a civilized night on the town 343 00:13:10,134 --> 00:13:14,620 and we are going to dress up like women and have cocktails. 344 00:13:14,621 --> 00:13:17,554 Proper cocktails that don't come in a can. 345 00:13:17,555 --> 00:13:18,625 Huh. 346 00:13:19,453 --> 00:13:20,419 You know, that could be fun. 347 00:13:20,420 --> 00:13:22,007 Done. How's Monday? 348 00:13:22,008 --> 00:13:24,078 Oh, I can't. Football's on. Tuesday? 349 00:13:24,079 --> 00:13:26,218 Cub-Dodger night game. Wednesday. 350 00:13:26,219 --> 00:13:27,633 Black Hawks. 351 00:13:27,634 --> 00:13:29,497 Peej, come on. Okay, okay, Thursday. 352 00:13:29,498 --> 00:13:31,810 I can't. The O.C. 353 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,397 Oh, I can't believe you watch that show. What... Fine. 354 00:13:33,398 --> 00:13:35,814 Okay, okay, fine, I'll TiVo. 355 00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:37,954 There you go, beautiful. 356 00:13:37,955 --> 00:13:39,403 Keep them swinging. 357 00:13:39,404 --> 00:13:41,717 Right back at your ass, baby. 358 00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:44,892 Yep. 359 00:13:44,893 --> 00:13:47,619 I don't do that. 360 00:13:55,006 --> 00:13:56,214 B eight. 361 00:13:57,353 --> 00:13:58,423 Hit. 362 00:13:59,183 --> 00:14:00,873 The O.C., huh? 363 00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:03,151 You know, I don't know, man. I've been to Orange County, 364 00:14:03,152 --> 00:14:05,705 and people in Orange County do not look like that. 365 00:14:05,706 --> 00:14:09,331 If they did, they would move to LA and get on a TV show. 366 00:14:11,126 --> 00:14:12,643 Another pitcher? Yeah. Absolutely. 367 00:14:12,644 --> 00:14:14,543 Thanks, that's great. 368 00:14:15,130 --> 00:14:16,925 M seven. 369 00:14:18,098 --> 00:14:19,305 M? 370 00:14:19,306 --> 00:14:21,239 Okay, M. There's no M. 371 00:14:21,791 --> 00:14:23,068 Sorry. 372 00:14:23,069 --> 00:14:25,415 F seven. 373 00:14:25,416 --> 00:14:27,348 Miss. And you're an idiot. 374 00:14:28,557 --> 00:14:31,352 Isn't that Brendan's? 375 00:14:31,353 --> 00:14:33,906 It's Wendy. Wendy's calling. 376 00:14:33,907 --> 00:14:35,666 Wendy? I thought they broke up. 377 00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:36,875 Exactly my point. 378 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,048 Why would she be calling him? 379 00:14:38,049 --> 00:14:40,430 Dude, check the phone log. 380 00:14:40,431 --> 00:14:41,638 I'm in. 381 00:14:41,639 --> 00:14:42,881 Dude, you can't do that. 382 00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:45,297 Oh, it's easy. I have the same phone. 383 00:14:45,298 --> 00:14:46,815 Oh! This is messed up. 384 00:14:46,816 --> 00:14:49,749 There's tons of both incoming and outgoing calls 385 00:14:49,750 --> 00:14:51,855 to one Wendy Harringer. 386 00:14:51,856 --> 00:14:53,236 Oh, really? 387 00:14:53,237 --> 00:14:57,378 Oh, and he's got three calls to Sibris. 388 00:14:57,379 --> 00:14:58,758 Very telling. 389 00:14:58,759 --> 00:14:59,898 Sibris. 390 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,520 What is Sibris? 391 00:15:01,521 --> 00:15:04,557 Sibris, it's like this total pleasure palace motel 392 00:15:04,558 --> 00:15:07,077 out in Northbrook with hourly rates 393 00:15:07,078 --> 00:15:09,390 and satin sheets and waterfalls in the room. 394 00:15:09,391 --> 00:15:10,598 It is epic. 395 00:15:10,599 --> 00:15:11,737 Epic. 396 00:15:11,738 --> 00:15:13,187 Hmm. 397 00:15:13,188 --> 00:15:15,085 That is telling. 398 00:15:15,086 --> 00:15:17,053 Now, I'm not a fancy girl, 399 00:15:17,054 --> 00:15:19,400 and the only way that I would come to a place like this 400 00:15:19,401 --> 00:15:22,230 is if my parents were paying and I knew I could split early 401 00:15:22,231 --> 00:15:24,198 because they go to sleep at, like, 8:30. 402 00:15:24,199 --> 00:15:25,751 So, how's that going down? 403 00:15:25,752 --> 00:15:27,477 It's good, and fast. 404 00:15:27,478 --> 00:15:30,445 The glasses are so small here. 405 00:15:30,446 --> 00:15:33,069 It's civilized, and nothing gets you out of a slump 406 00:15:33,070 --> 00:15:35,934 like a hot bath and a well-made drink. 407 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,902 Yeah, it's been a while since I felt feminine. 408 00:15:38,903 --> 00:15:40,524 It was long overdue. 409 00:15:40,525 --> 00:15:42,216 You know what, we should do this more often. 410 00:15:42,217 --> 00:15:46,289 It's good to feel soft, you know, 411 00:15:46,290 --> 00:15:48,084 pretty, womanly. 412 00:15:48,085 --> 00:15:50,396 You know, I mean, every once in a while I think to myself, 413 00:15:50,397 --> 00:15:52,467 do I even have a vagina? 414 00:15:54,712 --> 00:15:56,851 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please. 415 00:15:56,852 --> 00:15:58,301 I will say this, though. 416 00:15:58,302 --> 00:15:59,854 The service is crazy slow. 417 00:15:59,855 --> 00:16:05,170 I know, but cocktails, proper cocktails take time to make. 418 00:16:05,171 --> 00:16:07,586 Yeah, well, they don't take time to drink. 419 00:16:07,587 --> 00:16:10,278 I'm gonna go up and get myself a fast beer. 420 00:16:10,279 --> 00:16:12,729 You cool? Great. Yeah. 421 00:16:12,730 --> 00:16:15,249 Make sure they put it in a glass. 422 00:16:15,250 --> 00:16:17,114 You really think I'm a Clampett, don't you? 423 00:16:23,430 --> 00:16:26,846 Hey, that martini was great. 424 00:16:26,847 --> 00:16:28,952 Do you have an Old Style? 425 00:16:28,953 --> 00:16:30,127 Sorry, no Old Style. 426 00:16:31,300 --> 00:16:32,921 Boy, I saw that coming. 427 00:16:32,922 --> 00:16:34,958 What beers do you have? 428 00:16:34,959 --> 00:16:36,995 Hefeweizen and Old Speckled Hen, 429 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:39,894 a Sixpoint craft Ale Brownstone, um... 430 00:16:39,895 --> 00:16:42,207 The closest thing to an Old Style that they have here 431 00:16:42,208 --> 00:16:44,071 is a Pilsner Urquell. 432 00:16:44,072 --> 00:16:45,658 And hello. 433 00:16:45,659 --> 00:16:47,522 Thank you. 434 00:16:47,523 --> 00:16:50,009 Um, I'll have a Pilsner Urquell, 435 00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:53,702 and hello. 436 00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:56,255 Q three. 437 00:16:56,256 --> 00:16:57,429 Not now, he's coming. 438 00:16:57,430 --> 00:16:58,500 Q? 439 00:16:59,949 --> 00:17:01,226 G three. 440 00:17:01,227 --> 00:17:03,228 What is the matter with you? 441 00:17:03,229 --> 00:17:04,506 Hello, liar. 442 00:17:05,265 --> 00:17:07,128 What? 443 00:17:07,129 --> 00:17:10,338 Well, your phone rang, and we happened to notice that it was Wendy. 444 00:17:10,339 --> 00:17:11,788 Yeah, Wendy. 445 00:17:11,789 --> 00:17:13,445 Really? 446 00:17:13,446 --> 00:17:15,550 That's weird. Weird! 447 00:17:15,551 --> 00:17:18,036 Is it weird? Is it weird to you? 448 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,589 Weird. Hmm. 449 00:17:19,590 --> 00:17:21,901 That's interesting because, you see, we did a little... 450 00:17:21,902 --> 00:17:23,869 Invasion of your privacy. 451 00:17:23,870 --> 00:17:25,077 Bingo, and we noticed that you guys 452 00:17:25,078 --> 00:17:26,975 have been talking all the time. 453 00:17:26,976 --> 00:17:28,287 What's the deal? You're back together again, aren't you? 454 00:17:28,288 --> 00:17:29,633 Dude, you went through my phone log, man? 455 00:17:29,634 --> 00:17:30,877 Maybe. 456 00:17:32,499 --> 00:17:34,087 Dude, why have you been lying to us? 457 00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:36,571 Come on, we lied to P.J. 458 00:17:36,572 --> 00:17:37,710 about what we were doing the other night. 459 00:17:37,711 --> 00:17:38,815 How is this any different? 460 00:17:38,816 --> 00:17:40,506 Hey, we're not the ones on trial here. 461 00:17:40,507 --> 00:17:42,543 You see, this is why he was getting hit on 462 00:17:42,544 --> 00:17:45,546 so much the other night, because he has the stink of success on him. 463 00:17:45,547 --> 00:17:46,961 Yeah, that's true. 464 00:17:46,962 --> 00:17:48,411 Nothing is more attractive than somebody 465 00:17:48,412 --> 00:17:49,998 who doesn't need to be attractive. 466 00:17:49,999 --> 00:17:52,208 Since I got Claire, I've been batting them away. 467 00:17:52,209 --> 00:17:53,450 You're an ass. 468 00:17:53,451 --> 00:17:55,142 You know, the whole Wendy thing 469 00:17:55,143 --> 00:17:56,764 has just been so on again, off again. 470 00:17:56,765 --> 00:17:59,974 I just... I felt stupid, you know. 471 00:17:59,975 --> 00:18:03,184 Really, really stupid. 472 00:18:03,185 --> 00:18:06,153 So I didn't say anything because I didn't want to look, you know... 473 00:18:06,154 --> 00:18:07,430 Stupid. Yeah. 474 00:18:07,431 --> 00:18:09,880 Hey, Brendo, come on, that's ridiculous. 475 00:18:09,881 --> 00:18:11,468 I mean, every time you've gotten back together with her 476 00:18:11,469 --> 00:18:12,573 you looked stupid, 477 00:18:12,574 --> 00:18:14,645 and yet, we always get past it. 478 00:18:16,164 --> 00:18:17,992 Thanks, Mike. 479 00:18:17,993 --> 00:18:20,028 Look, if you're seeing somebody, we're happy for you. 480 00:18:20,029 --> 00:18:22,479 I mean, you're not in our slump, and that's a good thing, 481 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:25,931 so good job, buddy, well done. 482 00:18:25,932 --> 00:18:28,278 I mean, technically, I'm not in your slump either, but... 483 00:18:28,279 --> 00:18:29,798 Shut up. 484 00:18:31,213 --> 00:18:32,593 Thanks, fellas. 485 00:18:32,594 --> 00:18:36,010 It does feel good to not have to keep it a secret anymore. 486 00:18:36,011 --> 00:18:37,115 We're not going to tell P.J., though, right? 487 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:38,702 Yeah, I wouldn't. 488 00:18:38,703 --> 00:18:40,048 No, have you met her? She would rip your head off. 489 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,500 Well, you're a journalist. 490 00:18:43,501 --> 00:18:44,812 You must have a million stories. 491 00:18:44,813 --> 00:18:46,020 Why not write a book? 492 00:18:46,021 --> 00:18:47,539 Oh, my gosh. I don't know. 493 00:18:47,540 --> 00:18:48,988 It's such a huge commitment. 494 00:18:48,989 --> 00:18:50,473 You know, books are really long. 495 00:18:50,474 --> 00:18:52,992 Come on. Nicole Richie wrote a book. 496 00:18:52,993 --> 00:18:54,305 I know you can. 497 00:18:55,479 --> 00:18:56,686 Well, look at this. 498 00:18:56,687 --> 00:18:59,171 We're talking about actual stuff. 499 00:18:59,172 --> 00:19:03,313 And he's cute and funny, it's all so grown up and mature. 500 00:19:03,314 --> 00:19:05,557 Well, it's time. 501 00:19:05,558 --> 00:19:08,111 The London office just got to work. 502 00:19:08,112 --> 00:19:09,457 It's that conference call. 503 00:19:09,458 --> 00:19:10,769 I'm sorry, I gotta take it. 504 00:19:10,770 --> 00:19:12,702 No, I know, I know, I know. I mean... 505 00:19:12,703 --> 00:19:14,255 For the record, you're the only one I know 506 00:19:14,256 --> 00:19:16,430 who doesn't avoid calls from work. 507 00:19:16,431 --> 00:19:18,466 And, um, London, by the way. 508 00:19:18,467 --> 00:19:22,332 Okay, so tomorrow night, top of the Hancock, Signature Room. 509 00:19:22,333 --> 00:19:25,370 Trite, I know, but, you can't beat the view. 510 00:19:25,371 --> 00:19:28,339 Yeah. No, I mean if it's a clear night, we can see all the way to 511 00:19:29,823 --> 00:19:31,824 Gary, Indiana. 512 00:19:31,825 --> 00:19:32,860 Have you been there? 513 00:19:32,861 --> 00:19:34,172 I have not had the pleasure. 514 00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,277 Well... 515 00:19:36,278 --> 00:19:38,486 If you play your cards right, buddy, I might just take you there. 516 00:19:38,487 --> 00:19:41,766 Ooh! I know a steel mill that has a fantastic tour. 517 00:19:43,458 --> 00:19:44,769 I'm in. 518 00:19:47,047 --> 00:19:49,843 All right. Well, good night. Yeah. 519 00:19:55,884 --> 00:19:57,403 Such a dork. 520 00:20:00,958 --> 00:20:04,547 As nights go, that was one of the best. 521 00:20:04,548 --> 00:20:07,274 And now we're back to that exciting guessing game, 522 00:20:07,275 --> 00:20:09,828 will it go this way or that way? 523 00:20:09,829 --> 00:20:11,830 I mean, I've got a pretty good idea 524 00:20:11,831 --> 00:20:13,763 that it's gonna go that way... 525 00:20:13,764 --> 00:20:17,145 And we didn't talk about baseball the entire night. 526 00:20:17,146 --> 00:20:19,941 Oh, yeah, this. 527 00:20:19,942 --> 00:20:21,253 Watch this. 528 00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:22,599 Get him. 529 00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:24,705 Hey, when are you going to get a flat screen in here? 530 00:20:24,706 --> 00:20:26,189 Your disposal's broken. 531 00:20:26,190 --> 00:20:27,673 You're out of Bugles again. 532 00:20:27,674 --> 00:20:29,123 I'm finished. 533 00:20:29,124 --> 00:20:30,435 What are you wearing? 534 00:20:30,436 --> 00:20:31,643 Why do you look like that? 535 00:20:31,644 --> 00:20:32,747 I went out. 536 00:20:32,748 --> 00:20:34,301 With who? Queen Elizabeth? 537 00:20:36,131 --> 00:20:38,028 Okay. Forgive me for classing it up a little bit. 538 00:20:38,029 --> 00:20:39,409 Did you guys ever think that maybe 539 00:20:39,410 --> 00:20:41,031 this is the reason why you're in a slump 540 00:20:41,032 --> 00:20:42,240 in the first place? 541 00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:43,620 What are you talking about? 542 00:20:43,621 --> 00:20:46,278 This! You guys! 543 00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:48,211 You act like you're in a fricking fraternity, 544 00:20:48,212 --> 00:20:50,765 and you wonder why you're not seeing anybody? 545 00:20:50,766 --> 00:20:53,181 I mean, okay, you guys are great guys, right? 546 00:20:53,182 --> 00:20:55,460 But this whole going out hunting as a group 547 00:20:55,461 --> 00:20:58,808 and acting like, well, pigs, doesn't work. 548 00:20:58,809 --> 00:21:03,364 Okay, tonight I went out. I acted like an adult 549 00:21:03,365 --> 00:21:06,436 and I am officially out of my slump. 550 00:21:08,853 --> 00:21:12,685 Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to go take a bath. 551 00:21:14,687 --> 00:21:16,895 Is she seriously taking a bath? 552 00:21:16,896 --> 00:21:18,793 Please, sir, could you bring me 553 00:21:18,794 --> 00:21:21,279 some more hot water for my bath? 554 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,073 It's like Oliver and Elephant Man. 555 00:21:23,074 --> 00:21:25,317 A little bit of a mix. Did you get it? That was nice, man. 556 00:21:25,318 --> 00:21:28,321 She is right, you guys are kind of immature. 557 00:21:29,874 --> 00:21:31,323 Hello, piggy, I'm a horse. 558 00:21:31,324 --> 00:21:32,807 You see, you knocked over the silo. 559 00:21:32,808 --> 00:21:34,465 Oh, my mistake.